I’m sitting here crying in my soup and telling myself, “Ok, Lucie, remember what you tell people: ‘God doesn’t always give us what we want, when we want it, but what we need, when we need it’.
“So, I’m sure this whole damn “kerfuffle” that you’ve been subjected to this past weekend, is gonna work out in the end”.
Don’t ask me why, but the Princess and I are the poster children for the motto: “Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong,” every time we buy something.
(And don’t let me start talking about what happens to us when we TRAVEL!!!)
I mean, SERIOUSLY!
We always do a shit-load of research BEFORE we buy, are very respectful and courteous to all sales people and 9 outta 10 times pay TOP dollar for the item.
Inevitably, though, the product is damaged, the wrong color, missing a part to something that we’re more than halfway finished putting together, or some other ridiculous scenario which leaves us to deal with the quandary of: do we keep it and make do? Or package it back up, drive all the way back to the store, and deal with customer service (who for some reason are never quite as “happy” seeing us come back, as they were when we left a sizable sum of money with them when we left!)?
This past weekend, found the Princess and I in just that quandary.
As a celebration to the Princess securing full-time, permanent employment with the company that she’s been contracting with for the past year, we decided to purchase a couch and lazy boy rocker recliner.
So, 2 months ago we researched and tested various types, colors and comfort levels of a number of furniture pieces to replace our worn out living room furniture pieces.
We decided on the pieces, paid a handsome sum for both pieces and waited the 2 months for them to “make them”.
On Saturday, piece #1 (the couch) gets delivered while I’m mopping up a leak from our broken kitchen sink pipe and yelling at the cats for traipsing through the water and making paw prints all over everything.
The delivery guys unload it, unwrap it, and set it up.
I’m standing in the kitchen (mop in hand) looking at the pillows and saying to myself, “WTS?! I know my memory’s in the toilet, lately, but I could swear that’s not the color of the couch and pillows we ordered.”
I’m not positive, though, and the Princess (who has pictures of both of the furniture pieces on her iPhone) is off to Home Depot purchasing a new pipe for the kitchen sink.
So, I bid the delivery guys “adieu” and back to mopping I go!
In the door walks the Princess 15 minutes after they leave and lo and behold, she takes one look at the couch and exclaims, “That’s not our couch and pillows, Lucie! At least not the pillows. The pillows I KNOW are wrong, and unless I’m mistaken, that’s the wrong color couch!”
Cavola! You gotta be kiddin’ me!
She takes out her trusty iPhone and sure as shit – BOTH the couch and the pillows are the wrong ones.
We decide, “No biggy”.
We gave away our old couch, so unless we wanna sit on egg crates for the next 2 months, we agree that the “delivered couch” is fine and will blend in with our “eclectic Italian motif”.
The pillows, though, totally clash and have to GO!
So, off to the furniture store we head, pillows in hand, to tell them about the little “kerfuffle”.
As luck would have it, on the way to the store, we get a phone call from “said furniture store”.
I’m assuming they’re calling to find out if we got everything ok today because Larry and Curley of the Three Stooge’s Delivery Co. were supposed to deliver the couch yesterday, but forgot to load it, so they couldn’t deliver it.
Because we’re “good customers,” they squeezed us into Saturday’s schedule.
I’m thinking we’ll be at the store in another 10 minutes, so I’m not gonna answer the phone.
And besides, I’m not feeling too “friendly” with this group of clowns.
The phone rings, again. It’s the furniture store.
The Princess (who is driving) looks at me and says, “Don’t answer, unless you can be civil with them. Right now, you’re a tad pissed off and I don’t think you should talk to them.”
“You’re right,” I answer. “I think it’s better for them and my blood pressure, if I wait until I get there.”
We arrive at the store, walk through the door carrying said pillows and are immediately greeted by Sum-Ting-Wong, one of our sales people.
I inform him that we have the wrong pillows and before I can say anything else, he looks at us like we’re recent discharges from the infamous St. Jude’s Laughing Academy and lets us know that not only do we have the “WONG PILLOWS”, but have someone else’s couch, as well, and need to drive home, so the delivery guys can pick it up and deliver it to the rightful owners!
But what I haven’t told you is that we’ve gotta go back to Home Depot, exchange our sink pipe and get a “different pipe” to fix our sink because nothing in our house is “standard” and we need a “special pipe” because apparently (unbeknownst to us, at the time), we had the other “stooge” of “The Three Stooge’s Delivery Co.” as our contractor when the house was built.
So I’m lookin’ at Sum-Ting and thinking, “I’ve got a sink that’s still leaking, a pipe that needs exchanging, 2 cats that are more than likely lounging on someone else’s couch (with wet paw prints, by now) and a little Asian sale’s person shaking his head saying to us, “No time for fix you pipe. You go home. You have wong couch. You need go home.”
So, home we go where we find Larry and Curley waiting for us in our driveway, while our cats are inside curled-up and peacefully sleeping on said “wong couch”!
Is it a wonder why our friends call us “Lucy and Ethel”?
Life is good at our house, People!
Will catch you next time for another adventure looking at life from my shoes!