For the past 15 or so years my family, friends, medical personnel, etc. have been trying to wheedle me into a yoga class to help me manage my daily pain.
Medication does not always help me, so I thought, “What the heck, I’ll try it!”
I solicit my friends’ advice and they suggest the gentle yoga class with Miss Betsy at our local Senior Center. It’s within my budget, close to home and my buddy, Lou, goes there.
OK, so on Sunday, I’m all jazzed and getting ready for my “new class”: Got my yoga mat (The Princess tells me to “lose the extra camping mat that I took out or I’ll look like a TOTAL newbie on my first day!”), got my outfit picked out (I don’t wanna look like a total DWEEB in front of “Miss Betsy and the other Yogees”), put my water bottle on the counter so I wouldn’t forget it – and EVEN washed my car! (You never know who you’re gonna run into at the Senior Center! And my windshield was so dusty that I’ve been thinking lately that I should get my eyes checked for cataracts!)
So any-way, I fortified myself with oatmeal that morning (even put in a little flax seed with cinnamon for that “extra something special for energy”) – meticulously bandaged my foot (to protect my newly acquired bone spur that I developed trying to get my Buddha belly under control by walking every day) – ironed my outfit (as a newbie, I don’t wanna be rolling around a dirty floor with wrinkly clothes); put on extra deodorant and powder and took an extra shot of mouthwash (lest I offend anyone with some “funky odors” in my first-ever Yoga class!): and out the door I went with the anticipation of a 5-year-old on her first day of school.
My buddy, Lou, graciously brings me to the Center (despite the fact that SHE, herself, cannot go to class that day), shows me around and kindly introduces me to some of the ladies.
After all the introductions, Lou graciously takes her leave and I start to unfold my mat on the floor while chatting with one of the participants.
“Yes,” she reassures me, “this is a good class for beginners. You’ll do fine with Miss Betsy. She’s really good with new people and is just an all-around considerate yoga instructor.”
Well, long story short: After hanging around for 20 minutes and shooting the breeze with Lily (our local retired librarian) and some of the other yogee’s, it turned out that Miss Betsy was a “no show”!
So, I watched the ladies start to methodically roll up their yoga mats and quietly file out the door and I’m thinking, “Damn! Does anybody know if Miss Betsy’s O.K.?”
“Uh, hullo people! Ya think someone should call her and find out if she’s sick or possibly road kill some place between here and her home?”
“Guess I won’t be needin’ my yoga mat this morning (or for that matter that extra shot of deodorant I put on.)”
I find out the next week that Miss Considerate herself had an appointment that morning and forgot to get emails out to everyone!
So here I sit on Monday morning with clean, ironed clothes, brushed teeth, a sparkly clean car and smellin’ fresh as a Spring daisy but with no-where to go!
Such is life in my shoes. Have a great day, Peoples! And remember: keep your clothes ironed, your teeth brushed and never leave the house without clean undies!
My Mom always told me that “in case I got into an accident”. Never made sense to me, so I asked her one day, “Mom, if I get into an accident, don’t ‘cha think that I’m going to end up with soiled undies, anyway?”
Mom, not missing a beat, retorted, “Lucie, that’s what MY MOTHER always told ME and now I’m telling YOU! Stop questioning generations of wisdom and get outta here.”
Catch ya next Tuesday, People! And don’t be messing with your Momma’s wisdom!!! (God forbid, you should catch yourself repeating such a cliché to future generations.)