The Princess Slaps Herself Silly!

Yogi Berra once said, “You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”

Uh-Hun.

Shopping with the Princess on the weekends is what I imagine it would be like hanging with the “Yog-ster” for a day – somewhat “challenging”, but oh so “captivating” and “full of fun” before you get there.

And, of course, shopping this past weekend, proved to be just that – challenging, but, “oh so much fun”.

The Princess had been commuting all week to work and wanted a “break from dealing with the finer nuances of CA drivers”, so we decided that I’d take one for the team that day and “deal with the nut cases on Rt. 101”, while we did our errands.

I just pulled out of our driveway and started heading down the road, when the Princess innocently asked me, “Have you ever accidently slapped yourself in the head?” and she heartily started giggling.

“No,” I quizzically answered. “Can’t say that’s one of my skill sets. Why do you ask?”

The laughter had me inquisitive, so while I was stopped at the light, I looked over at her before I continued speaking, and noticed that her eye glasses were totally skewed on her face and not seated appropriately on the bridge of her nose.

“What the hell are you doing over there, while I’m driving?” I bitingly inquired.

“Cazzo!”

“Please tell me that you didn’t just slap yourself upside your head,” I declared.

“Our friends already think we’re weird as it is, and this isn’t gonna make one of us look too awfully bright, ya know?” I continued.

“Please tell me that my abrupt stop at the light knocked your glasses off and that YOU didn’t do this to yourself!”

“OK”, she obediently responded, “Your driving did this to me, and forget I even asked you the question.”

“And by the way,” she continued (while giggling), “My car’s running on pure gas fumes, so you’d best pull over to fill it up with gas.”

Uh-Hun.

While I was pulling into the nearest gas station, she rearranged her glasses so that they were appropriately seated on her face, and then instructed me to pop open her gas flap.

As I was fidgeting around looking for the lever, to pop open the gas thing-a-ma-bob, I looked to the right and noticed that she left the passenger door open when she got out to pump gas.

Being the considerate person that I am, and not wanting to inconvenience the guy behind us when he pulled out, I stretched over to close the door.

While reaching for the inside, passenger door handle, I suddenly saw the Princess ( quietly trembling with laughter), sprawled out on the ground; by the side of the car, and with her thin, (long) leather purse strap chaotically tangled around her ankle.

“Are you all right?” I anxiously asked.

“How the hell did you end up under the car?” I continued, while she lifted herself into an upright position –contemptuously eyeballing me, with her head eye level to the floor board of her SUV.

“Cavola!” (Holy crap!), I exclaimed.

“I take my eyes off from you for 10 seconds to look for the gas lever and you almost go permanently belly up!” I accusingly yelled at her.

“Madonna!”

“Are we gonna be able to get through the day without you killing yourself, or should I look into taking out more personal insurance on you?” I sarcastically inquired.

At that point, let’s just say the Princess took to communicating with “sign language” ( a.k.a. “the one-finger salute “) and we both started to laugh uncontrollably.

Moral of this story: Keep your strapped purses on your car seats (and not your floor mats), and be wary of people who slap themselves upside their head on a regular basis.

And by all means, remember: You just never know what life is like looking at it from someone else’s shoes! (Especially if they’re looking at you from the ground, up!)

Have a great week, People, and I’ll catch ya next time, looking at life from my shoes!