Cazzo! You Kids Don’t Know Sh-T!

I called my Mom yesterday.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

I’m blessed to still have the little, gray-haired, Italian rompicoglioni (pain in the ass) in my life, so I make sure to connect with her every day.

Our conversations aren’t much to “write home about”, as my Uncle Tony likes to say, but conversations with my Mom are never ordinary, and this one yesterday, left me with a silly grin on my face.

The following is an excerpt from said conversation:

Mom: “Aunt Carmie and I went to J.C. Penny’s on Saturday to look for a wedding dress for Anne Marie’s wedding in July.”

Me: “That’s nice. Did you have fun looking around and shopping?”

Mom: “Was nice to get out and about, but couldn’t walk around and shop when we got there. Too damn tired to walk. I think I’ve got diabetes and a vitamin deficiency. I’m so LAZY these days. I don’t know what the hell’s the matter with me. I don’t ever remember being so lazy years ago!”

Me: “You’re older, Ma, and have major heart problems. Maybe you should talk to your doctor? It might be your heart.”

Mom: “Ma, che sei grullo!” (How stupid are you!) “You kids go to the doctors too much these days! They don’t know anything. They take your money, write a prescription and send you out the door in 5 minutes flat! Why go to the doctors?”

Me: “No particular reason. Just a thought.”

Mom: (Not wanting to continue the “doctor conversation”.) “I bought some strawberries this weekend.”

ME: “Uh-Hun. I thought you didn’t like strawberries, Ma?”

Mom: “I hate strawberries! Loaded them with sugar, but they still tasted nasty, so I added some ice cream and milk and made myself a smoothie. I forced myself to drink half of it. I still have the other half to drink. I don’t know how you kids drink this sh-t. It’s nasty.”

Me: “Un-Hun.”

Me: ”Ma, if you hate strawberries, why are you eating them and making smoothies with them?”

Mom: ” They’ve got those, ‘come si dice?’ (how do you say?) anti….(whatever the hell they’re called) in them and they’re supposed to be good for you!”

Me: “Antioxidants. I think you mean antioxidants, Mom.”

Mom: “Si. Antioxidants. That stuff that everybody’s eating to be healthy.”

Me: “Ma, you added white sugar, ice cream, and whole milk to it to tolerate it. Don’t ‘cha think you kinda nullified the healthy properties of the strawberries when you did that?”

Mom: “Basta!” (That’s enough!) Ma, che sei grullo!” (Are you crazy?)

Me: “Uh-Hun.”

Mom: “Cazzo! I gotta hang up. You kids drive-a me pazzo!” (crazy!)

Me: “Bye, Ma. Love you.”

Have a good one, today, People, and remember: “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. NO MAN DOES. That’s his.” Oscar Wilde.

Catch ya next time, looking at life from my shoes.

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Lucie

I'm a retired special ed teacher, born in upstate NY, who spent most of my adult life in the SF/Bay Area and moved to the Olympic Peninsula of WA in June of 2017. At the encouragement of family and friends, who followed my silliness on my FB page, I started this blog a few years ago. I try to keep my topics as humorous as possible (because I believe "LIFE" is pretty serious these days), but will, on occasion write about more solemn subjects. I sincerely appreciate all who take the time and effort to read and make comments and am truly humbled when people actually "like" what I write. I do not participate in the "Wordpress awards" because I feel "awarded" when individuals actually read me and comment, but sincerely appreciate all of you who have considered me "award worthy" and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs, Lucie

12 thoughts on “Cazzo! You Kids Don’t Know Sh-T!”

    1. I usually write about my life adventures in CA. with my partner and our silly life experiences, but, on occasion, will write on one or more of my family members (my silly Mom among them!!) I’m actually working on one now that I may post soon. She’s really a “blog” in and of herself….Problem is, some people like that kind of stuff and some people don’t. Guess it depends on what life experiences people bring when they read you. Can’t please everyone, all the time. Thank you for your lovely comment and follow. I’m always humbled by “strangers” reading me. 🙂

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    1. Thanks, Mitch! I think so, too!!! 🙂 She’s definitely a little character. Drives me batty, but I miss her and wish she lived closer. 🙂 Thx for dropping by.

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  3. Lucky you to be able to call your mother every day. I’d tell you to enjoy every blessed minutes of those calls, but after reading this post I know you don’t need that advice because, obviously, you do enjoy the calls; and so does your mother. You’re both lucky.

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    1. Yes, she’s a keeper! Drives me nuts, some times with her “logic” (or lack there of!), but she’s a character. Just wish sometimes that she didn’t live so darn far away…Thx stopping by…I went on your site earlier this week…either I’m not seeing your new post or you haven’t posted anything since last week?????

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