Lucie Needs a Program!

Alrighty!

This weekend the Princess and I were out shopping and I told her that I needed some more socks and undies.

Now for those of you that intimately know me, you know I’m OCD about good socks and underwear.

God forbid if my undies have a tiny hole in them or are “stretched out and baggy” in any way. I don’t mind wearing ratty sweatshirts and painted sweat pants, but I draw the line with baggy, holey underwear.

No siree, Bob.

And don’t start me on socks.

I DETEST stretched out, holey socks.

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I don’t do the “Pippi Longstocking” look.

Drives me batty when I see people walking around in public with flimsy, stretched-out sport socks flapping around their ankles.

Che schifo! (How disgusting!)

I don’t do “CHEAP, flimsy-looking” socks, either.

Especially sport socks.

And have you priced a pair of thorlo sport socks, lately, People? You need a second mortgage on your house, to purchase a pair.

I don’t have expensive clothing and jewelry, but if I get into an accident and get taken to the hospital, with my sport socks and undies still miraculously attached; at least the medics will be cutting into quality, well-made underwear and socks, to get to what’s remaining of my menopausal, puckered, (slightly) fluffy body parts.

So, anyway, I told the Princess that I needed some more of the Nike no show socks.

I didn’t like the look of the low cut socks that I was wearing with my new sneaks, and I needed more of the “no show” kind.

Uh-Hun.

So, the Princess gives me one of those “you gotta be kidding me looks” and sternly says, “Lucie, you’ve got 4 drawers of sport socks! You’re telling me you don’t have ANY low cut socks in those 4 drawers of socks?”

“No”, I innocently answer. “I didn’t say that. I said that I need more of the ‘no show’ kind.”

Uh-Hun.

“Lucie, she patiently responds, “I KNOW you’ve got the ‘no show’ kind. Have you gone through your sock drawers, lately?”

“Ma, che sei grullo! (How stupid are you?)” I answer.

“Who the hell has time to go through 4 drawers of socks to look for a particular kind of sock, for Pete’s sake?” I continue.

“I’m retired, not bored.”

Uh-Hun.

Well, I’m bored and decided to “organize my sock drawers” today, after buying 6 more pair of “no show” sport socks, People, and I shamefully stand before you a woman acutely in need of a sock intervention!

Yes, I can’t believe it, but I’m the Imelda Marcos of sport socks and desperately in need of an intervention program.

I’m sitting in the middle of 97 pair of multi-colored, various-styled sport socks that can be used for biking, hiking, skiing, snow shoeing, walking, gardening and a host of other activities, and have ONE (yes, you read correctly), ONE pair of nylons that I’ve had so long that I think they’re actually coming back into vogue, again.

Help!

Is there a 12-step recovery (sock) program for people like me?

Oh well, as my 99-year old Aunt Molly likes to say, “Cazzo, what ‘cha gonna do?”

Hope your 4th was filled with good food, the company of good friends, and much laughter.

Have a good week, People, and I’ll catch you next time, with another adventure, looking at life from MY shoes!

Published by

Lucie

I'm a retired special ed teacher, born in upstate NY, who spent most of my adult life in the SF/Bay Area and moved to the Olympic Peninsula of WA in June of 2017. At the encouragement of family and friends, who followed my silliness on my FB page, I started this blog a few years ago. I try to keep my topics as humorous as possible (because I believe "LIFE" is pretty serious these days), but will, on occasion write about more solemn subjects. I sincerely appreciate all who take the time and effort to read and make comments and am truly humbled when people actually "like" what I write. I do not participate in the "Wordpress awards" because I feel "awarded" when individuals actually read me and comment, but sincerely appreciate all of you who have considered me "award worthy" and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs, Lucie

16 thoughts on “Lucie Needs a Program!”

  2. I laughed and laughed at your paragraph about the medics cutting away your socks and underwear. In fact, I’m still gigging and my husband is looking at me. About socks: I share your compulsion. If it even looks like a flaw is appearing in a sock, out with the old and in with some new.

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    1. I’m humbled by your laughter, Kiddo! I wonder if your appreciation for that paragraph is a “generational one”???? My Mom always told me to make sure that I changed my socks and undies before going out, “in case’ I got into an accident!!!!! 🙂 I thought this was kind of “goofy”, even as a child!!!! Told her that my undies would probably not be too high on my list of concerns if I were broad-sided by a MACK truck going 80 miles an hour, but she didn’t appreciate my “sarcasm”….Go figure! 🙂 Hey! Thanks again for reading me and even more for taking the time to comment. Catch ya later, gator! 🙂

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  4. Hey, I need some new socks. Mine all have holes in them, especially the sports socks; I keep meaning to buy some, but I forget when I’m at the store. (Early onset dementia? Or maybe holey-sock induced dementia?) Anyway, I cracked up about the Imelda Marcos of sports socks, and how long you’ve had your nylons! 🙂

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    1. Good to go, little buddy! New socks being sent out, ASAP!!!! Glad you got the Imelda Marcos comment! Some of my “readers” are too young to appreciate some of my references. Thanks for stopping by, Laura. Hope you and the little ones are enjoying the Summer! (Especially now that the first draft is done!) 🙂

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      2. Whoa….August 5th! We’re enjoying the time, too. Hopefully, we’ll fit in a fun vacation, one of these days….right now the Princess is intent on doing well with her newly acquired position.. 🙂

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  5. So funny and so much truth. How about an”S&P” program…my socks and
    Panties multiplied because I left them all alone in a dark drawer for
    Too long.

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