Ok, so I wake up the other morning and catch the Princess walking out of the ironing room muttering something under her breath about “the piece of crap iron that we have and how I’d best put a new iron on my list of things to buy” etc. etc. because “the stupid thing only works half the time and the other half of the time the dam thing doesn’t have steam in it and doesn’t iron her work clothes nicely!”
Now I find this quite humorous, don’t ‘cha know, because I’m the one that is constantly finding the iron void of water when I go to use it to do my ironing and am always wondering why SHE never fills it with water!
So I ask her highness, “Have you been adding any water to the thing?” (Now remember, people, this is the same woman that called me from work a few weeks ago to complain about her piece of crap iPhone not working right after dropping it a bazillion times!)
Her response: “Why would I do that?! The iron will end up getting rusty and ruin my good work clothes!”
Rusty?! Rusty?! Seriously?! Did she just say that???? Does she think the steam that she’s been getting magically appears most every morning because of some little “steam genie in the iron”????!
I’m just about ready to ask her this question and it dawns on me while I’m looking at her “punk rocker hairdo” (the results of having one hulluva night sleeping with a cat that had a major attitude!): I think I’d best be leaving that question for another day, or at least until after she has a few cups of coffee and acquires a better hair-do.
“OK”, I tell myself,” let me go hit the john this morning before I tackle any major projects. I always think better when my bladder is empty and I don’t wanna be “filling anything (like an iron) until I’ve done just that.” (Yeah, I know, people, those of you under 40 can’t relate, but trust me, someday you WILL and then you’ll say to yourself, “Yep, by golly, Lucie was sure right about thinking clearer when your bladder is empty!”)
So I’m sitting there on the toilet and I noticed that there’s no toilet paper on the rung.
“Oh for God sakes,” I say out loud, “am I the only one that changes the toilet paper in this (blankety blank) house?!”
Really. I swear to God every place I go, I end up replacing the toilet paper! And don’t get me started on “commercial toilet dispensers” at restaurants and theaters because you need a manual just to get a few tissues outta the blasted thing and a trip to the Home Depot to buy a crow bar to open it so the second roll “drops down”! (Seriously, is there anyone out there that has had the second role “drop” without having to use a crow bar? Have you?! Please, I’d like to meet you. I think there should be some kind of special award made just for you for this special occasion.)
And people, people, people, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE: There’s a RIGHT way and WRONG way to have the toilet paper unroll! Don’t make me take it off the rung and replace it just because YOU didn’t have the foresight to put it on “the right way” to begin with!
“Geesch!”
I’m tellin’ ya: “Life in MY shoes sure is fun!”
“Have a great week, Peoples!”
Life in Lucie's Shoes 
Hi Lucie
I know what ya gunna say, what’s Annie girl reading my Blog from two freakin years ago?????
Well I need to laugh or I’ll howl so much, next thing I’ll be drownin’ in me own tears..
This story is a rippa, The Princess and the iron with no steam, Cos’ if ya damn well go put water in there the things gunna rust….I am already laughing, Lucie you write with a loving, frustrated, endearing, gobsmacked, patient, hilarious, humane, Crikey!!!! mate every little thing we can all so relate to. Your sense of humour is awesome and I just love reading your stories. I know not all things in life can have a funny outcome, nevertheless it is a sense of humour that can be enlightening as well as delightful when the chips are down.
Now I gotta know whether you have the dunny paper overs or unders?????
I was in an airport once and shoved my hand so far up into the dispenser to get the other roll of paper down, bugger me my hand and arm got jammed in the dispencer.
Well!, almost a crow bar needed to rescue me, instead the woman that heard my screams for help assessed my dilemma, pulled a metal spoon out of her handbag and prized the the opening just enough to get my bloody hand out, hand uninjured, spoon badly injured!!!!
Yes I hear you! It was my question exactly..” what the f#@k do you carry a metal spoon in your handbag for?????” Her smart arse answer was “for dopey blondes like you that go around getting your hand stuck in toilet dispensers”. Yep very funny!!!!
We chatted for a while in the airport loo, mainly about those cranky dunny dispensers clearly childproof in design.
Then on parting she said, ” I have no idea where the spoon came from but I have five kids and very likely one of them put the spoon in her bag”. Thank christ for kids!!!!!!
I so love life in Lucie’s shoes
Loves ya Lucie ol’mate
Thankyou for writing, I have read a few of your stories today Lucie..
Big warm fuzzy hugs from
Annie in Australia 🌞 🌴 🌊 💜
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.Anne girl, I’m laughing so hard at your comment that i think i wet me undies, mate!😂😆💗
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Damn, Anne Girl, I gotta write down all your notes to me and write a book! You make me LOL, mate!!!! Luvs you… 😉
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Me thinks you have a spare room full of my notes mate, I’ve never had the knack of leaving short notes for peeps….even my hubby says ” shit Annie!!, just tell me, ” my lunch is in the fridge” I don’t need a 2 page note for cryin’ out loud…..
what container it’s in….what shelf in the fridge it’s on….whats in my lunch that I might like or not like….you put a knife in there to cut the tomato with, geez woman don’t you think a man can work that out for himself…you topped me nuts container up ( PEAnuts, LUCIE, yup he takes a container of peanuts to work)..Don’t forget your hat..your phone…lock the door on your way out…make sure the garage door shuts when you leave or our neighbour can’t get out of his garage….Why Annie Why?????? do you leave this note-book!! for your hubby each day, I hear you scream at me, so I can hear you down here in Oz…..
Well Lucie, firstly I am not that stupid that I write a new note each day, NO!! I just pop the original on the bench and if there are further reminders for him, well then they are written on another piece of paper.
Why the very detailed note to hubby..
Because!!!!!!!!! The dopey bastard would get half way to work and realise he has forgotten the bloody lot if I didn’t freakin’ remind him. Shit he would forget his head if it weren’t screwed on..
There ya go!!! I’ve just done it again….
Mate, I fair dinkum don’t know how to keep it simple stupid, nope can’t kiss to save meself..
Here’s what I do know is you make me laugh out loud and crikey it warms a person’s heart to do that, them endolphins, whatever you call ’em, help ya to keep swimming mate.
I love life in Lucie’s shoes
If you ever get that book written and it fetches a few quid, I might hit ya up for a loan ol’ mate.
Loves ya Lucie
Hugs headed for ya and The Princess and Ma…..from
Annie in Australia 🌞 🌴 🌊 💜
P.S see I’m still freakin writing, gettin’ bloody RSI..
I’ve been meaning to point out the emoji thingies, how they come up on your site..
My sun looks anemic
My palm tree, well! It looks like wood
My wave looks like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle
My budiful pink heart looks puce
No biggie, I’ve gotten over it now..
Luvs ya ta bits, you are a legend to me mate ❤❤❤❤❤
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Lucie, you are so so funny. I have never been able to get the ” second” roll to come down either!
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See, you need to carry a “crow bar” with you (just like the rest of us!!!) 🙂
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