I Love You to the Moon and Back

I’m on a rollercoaster ride and I’m not quite sure when it ends.

Or does it?

I eat. I sleep.

Make chicken soup and play board games.

The recipe for the cookies calls for “shortening.”

I don’t exactly know what “shortening” is.

I’ll call Mom.

She’ll tell me what it is and let me know what I can substitute.

Wait a minute.

We buried Mom last week.

No more asking her for advice. No more hearing her ask, “How are you and the Princess today? Doing anything fun?”

I feel like an untethered ship with no rudder, no oars.

The fall days are as gray and as empty as my heart.

My foundation has a crack and I feel weak and unstable.

I need to keep walking. Baby steps. One at a time.

Need to keep connecting.

And remembering.

Sharing.

And listening to stories of a life loved and well lived.

My Mom was my rock and my rock is no longer.

We buried Mom last week and with her my heart.

Love you, Mom.

Love you to the moon and back.tony-detroit-362133-unsplash

Photo by Tony Detroit, Unsplashed

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Lucie

I'm a retired special ed teacher, born in upstate NY, who spent most of my adult life in the SF/Bay Area and moved to the Olympic Peninsula of WA in June of 2017. At the encouragement of family and friends, who followed my silliness on my FB page, I started this blog a few years ago. I try to keep my topics as humorous as possible (because I believe "LIFE" is pretty serious these days), but will, on occasion write about more solemn subjects. I sincerely appreciate all who take the time and effort to read and make comments and am truly humbled when people actually "like" what I write. I do not participate in the "Wordpress awards" because I feel "awarded" when individuals actually read me and comment, but sincerely appreciate all of you who have considered me "award worthy" and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs, Lucie

11 thoughts on “I Love You to the Moon and Back”

    1. Not a great feeling no matter how old YOU or SHE is when she passes…..right now I’m just “floating” and putting one foot in front of the other and smiling as often as possible because no matter what, Mom always smiled and always said she was “good” – right ’till the end – right until the very end. You honor your Mom every day, Betsy. You’re a great Mom. She taught you well. And YOU, in turn, are teaching your little ones to take that same kindness and love and pay it forward. Thank you, sweetheart, for bringing up kind, responsible children who will someday be kind, responsible members of our society. Have a blessed Thanksgiving. ❤

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  2. Well, I totally understand how you feel, but yes, just take Baby steps. But the part of wanting to pick up the phone to ask a question will never end, ever. 😦 There are so many unanswered questions in 10 1/2 yrs without Mom. She was my rock! I miss her so much every day.

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    1. I think I like Beth’s comment: “Just FLOAT…float”. I like that. My old motto used to be “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.” I’m thinking “floating” is better for me right now… takes less energy. Thanks. ❤

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  3. I had the same feeling the other day, when my daughter had a great adventure that I wanted to share with my mom. I realized that I couldn’t pick up my phone and talk to her… but then God reminded me that like Him, my mom is right there in my heart. She’s closer than a phone call!!!

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