My GP wanted to know why I needed another prescription of Xanax. I wasn’t quite sure how to answer her.
On Tuesday afternoon, I walked in from doing my weekly grocery shopping and discovered that it took me an hour and a half longer than it usually did.
The Princess had some shopping to do Tuesday, too.
Women have told me, “Must be nice shopping for the two of you gals. My husband HATES shopping. Thinks it’s women’s work and all.”
“So,” I asked these clueless individuals. “Have you ever gone shopping with a five year old in a toy store?”
“No?” I continued. “Well, you really don’t want to if you don’t have to,” I informed them.
“The Princess is a grown up version of a 5 year old.”
The Princess needed to see my grocery list while we were still in the parking area of Costco, so I gave it to her.
Not thinking that I would actually NEED the list while shopping, she left it behind in the car when we went in, and when I asked her for it, she innocently looked at me and mumbled, “Uh, the list is in the car. Maybe I’ll go out and get it, eh?”
“Hm,” I answered. “I think that would be a smart thing to do in light of the fact that I know there were at least TEN items on that list, and I can only remember ONE– eggs.”
“You go to the car and I’ll meet you in the egg aisle,” I continued and off we both went in opposite directions.
I quickly got to the egg aisle, picked up the eggs and began to wait, thinking, “Well, maybe she forgot where the car was and she’s out there walking around aimlessly looking for our white Subaru.”
(Have I told you, People, that here on the Olympic Peninsula in Western WA everyone and their mother’s uncle owns a white Subaru? Well, they do!)
“No,” I told myself, “She couldn’t have gotten lost. We parked too close to the store for her to have gotten lost. She must have lost my list and she’s afraid I’ll get mad, so the poor thing is probably asking the Costco door people if they’ve seen it on the ground.”
“Yep,” I assured myself. “That’s what must have happened.”
“Let me call her up and see what’s going on.”
“Hey, “ I said to her when she answered. “Where the heck are you? I’ve been waiting forever in the egg aisle.”
“I’m in the food aisle,” she said. The Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars are on sale and they’re giving samples today. You need to get a sample.”
“And oh,” she continued. “You know those wool socks that you and I like for the winter?”
“They have them by the towels on the other side of the store, “ she added, before I could answer her question.
“So, let me get this straight,” I answered, keenly aware of the fact that I was talking to her in a very public place.
“You are in the store right now shopping, and I’ve been hangin’ in the egg aisle for the past 15 minutes waiting for you to come back with my list?”
“Well,” she answered having a hard time not laughing out loud at my annoying tone with her.
“I looked down the egg aisle and didn’t see you, and then I saw the Haagen-Dazs lady and went there, and I ran into one of my biking buddies and started chatting and then…well,” she continued.
“I started wandering around, checking out stuff, and that’s when I saw our wool socks.”
“You still want the list?” she asked me when I wheeled my cart out from the egg aisle and saw her in front of the ice cream lady hitting her up for a second sample.
“No,” I answered her. “I just sent you out to the car to get it ‘cuz I have nothing else to do but hang in Costco’s egg aisle today.”
Lord, please help me keep my sense of humor today, ‘cuz I’m gonna strangle her if I ever get ahold of my grocery list!
Life with the Princess is never boring. Have a great day, People, and I’ll catch ya next time looking at life from my shoes.