Getting Old’s a Bitch! (But it sure beats the alternative!)

The Princess and I took our Buddha bellies out for a stroll in the headlands of Marin County over the weekend and invited a friend to join us.

 

After all, it’s absolutely gorgeous weather here in draught stricken California and we may not have any water to shower with soon (or drink for that matter!), but boy howdy, it’s sure fantastic weather for taking walks and sight-seeing, lately.

 

So we’re strolling along the pathway and totally drinking in the sights, playing tourist and snapping pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge and surrounding vistas, when we suddenly hear this young woman behind us remark,

 

“I’m tellin’ ya, Judy, since I turned 30 my memory’s in the toilet, I’m starting to lose my teeth and I’m ashamed to admit this, but I had to pick up some old people’s diapers at Target ‘cuz I’m starting to lose control of my bladder.”

 

“Damn!” she continues. “If 30’s this bad, what the hell is 40 gonna look like?”

 

The three of us wanted to answer her, but we were giggling so hard that the Princess started one of her lung-wrenching coughing spells (that are typical to former smokers and asthmatics) and we had to stop walking, so she could bend over and catch her breath.

 

At this point, Judy and her diaper-wearing friend, are giving us an “inquisitive look-over” while walking past us and we’re (literally) bent over laughing and coughing while they’re (I’m sure) wondering if we’ve lost what’s left of our menopausal minds.

 

We seriously wanted to answer this young woman and let her know that it was all down hill from here on out and that she was most certainly going to hell in a hand basket from this point forward, but we couldn’t stop laughing and coughing in time to enlighten her.

 

Guess there’s certain realizations in a woman’s life that ya just gotta let her find out from her best friend (or better yet, her Momma).

 

And this just may be one of those moments of awareness.

 

Life in my shoes is sure silly some days. Have a blessed day, People!

 

And remember: if you see a toothless, slightly disorientated thirty-something year old (with urine stained pants) be kind. It could be this kid from Marin County!

 

Catch ya next week for another adventure looking at life in my shoes.

 

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Lucie and The East Coast Blizzard of 2015

It’s Tuesday, January 27, 2015, and I’m watching reports of “The East Coast Snow Blizzard of 2015” and thinking to myself,“Damn, I’m glad I’m here on the West Coast, drinking my hot cup of tea, curled up with my 2 wacky cats under my cozy comforter. It’s making me shiver just looking at those high winds on Nantucket and the whiteout in Boston.”

“Brrrrrr!”

Now all the while I’m absorbed watching the news, I’m totally oblivious to the fact that our home’s heater has not kicked on once in the entire hour that I’ve been mesmerized by the news’ depiction of the various snow squalls that have paralyzed most of the East Coast!

And I’m really not too concerned because I’m toasty warm under my down comforter, and, thanks to my body’s personal mini vacations to Hawaii, I have actually started to break out in a little sweat.

I think that I’ve had enough “TV viewing” for the morning and decide to get me and my Buddha belly moving and out the door on my morning walk, when it dawns on me: It’s C O L D out there!

Damn!

It even LOOKS cold out there!

It’s gray and cloudy, and if I’m not mistaken, I see a little mist on our windows.

(Oh wait. Hmm…I’ve been meaning to wash our windows. Just haven’t gotten around to it. I think that mist is actually window scum. OK, so it still looks COLD out there.)

I’d best put on some wool socks and add another layer of warmth under my windbreaker – maybe my down vest would be good?

Yep.

Definitely – my down vest, and my matching Mickey Mouse ear muffs and gloves…might as well add a little fashion to my “layered look” while I’m dressing for warmth! God forbid I should run into my skinny, fashionista neighbor Sue again and look like a total dweeb!

So, I’m suited up and ready to brave this here “Snow Blizzard of 2015,” open up my front door, and lo and behold, I’m struck with a gush of warm air.

“What the hell?!” I mumble to myself.

“No wonder the heater hasn’t kicked on, you menopausal midget!”

“It’s in the mid 60s.”

“Lucie, you damn fool!”

“You’ve been watching the weather reports for the East coast and have been totally oblivious to the weather where you live.”

I’m tellin’ you people, if I didn’t think that God got a kick outta having me “around” some days, I could actually embarrass myself.

Thank God I’m a RETIRED teacher!
Some days it’s a miracle I can remember which shoe goes on which foot in the morning.

Have a good one, People!

And be gentle out there.

Remember: Just because someone’s not “looking all put together some days” doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve your kindness and respect.

It could be ME you’re looking at or maybe even a reflection of yourself in the not so distant future. (Just something to be thinking about.)

Catch ya’ next week for another look at life from my shoes.