Mom Goes to Camp

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Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself to get through the emotional roller coaster of having her placed in assisted living – she’s going to an old folks camp to be with her friends.

 

So, why do I feel so sad?

 

I always thought that she’d die in her current abode with a heart attack – never imagined that she’d end up with stage 4 breast cancer and congestive heart failure – never in a million years.

 

She keeps going, my mom. She keeps putting on her lipstick and keeps ironing her clothes and combing her hair.

 

And every day she tells me, “I just don’t understand why I’m so darned lazy. I’m tired just getting out of bed in the morning. Doesn’t make any sense to me. I gotta keep eating to keep up my strength, but I’m too lazy to cook any more; just too darned lazy to cook any more,” she continues before telling me that she can’t talk any more.

 

My 89-year-old mom is going to an assisted living home and I feel guilty and sad and every emotion in between.

 

“She’ll be safe there and have activities and have friends to talk to when she’s lonely.”

 

Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself to ease my guilt.

 

“Change is good,” friends and family tell me.

 

“But Mom and I aren’t too keen on change,” I respond.

“She’ll be fine,” they insist. “She needs the extra help and she’s ready to go.”

 

And they’re right: she does need the help and she is ready to go.

 

So, I’ll put on my big girl pants and be grateful that she has loving, caring family members and friends to look after her and let her go off to the old folks camp and pray that God and the angels continue to watch over her.

 

In the meantime, I’m grateful for the continued thoughts and prayers as we stumble along living life in our shoes.

Published by

Lucie

I'm a retired special ed teacher, born in upstate NY, who spent most of my adult life in the SF/Bay Area and moved to the Olympic Peninsula of WA in June of 2017. At the encouragement of family and friends, who followed my silliness on my FB page, I started this blog a few years ago. I try to keep my topics as humorous as possible (because I believe "LIFE" is pretty serious these days), but will, on occasion write about more solemn subjects. I sincerely appreciate all who take the time and effort to read and make comments and am truly humbled when people actually "like" what I write. I do not participate in the "Wordpress awards" because I feel "awarded" when individuals actually read me and comment, but sincerely appreciate all of you who have considered me "award worthy" and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs, Lucie

20 thoughts on “Mom Goes to Camp”

  1. OMG! Lucie, I am so excited to have found you. This is your old California friend who moved to Ohio 5 years ago! I think about you and Princess all the time. I love your blog..so fantastic! I am so proud of you!! For some reason I have been thinking about your Mom and then came across this. My 97 year old Mom lives with me now for the last 3 years. That could be a whole blog too!!! I hope you and Princess are well. I would love to talk with you. I have the same phone number as before. ❤❤❤❤

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    1. Many thanks for the lovely compliment. My Mom is in the hospital as I write this…has been a trying year, but she’s a little trooper! I’m sure your escapades with your Mom could indeed be a blog, too. You should write one. Hope all is well with you. Take care, Kiddo! :>)

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  3. I’m sorry it took me so long to get to this.
    I’m sorry for your mom’s physical woes, too. I understand that this is tough. But so is your mom. And everyone is right. This WILL be good for her. Think how miserable she’d be home alone. She can do this.
    And so can you. Hang in there, Lucie!

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    1. Sorry? Oh my goodness, you have NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to be sorry about. I can not believe with all of your responsibilities that you even have a spare moment to read me let alone respond to me…..you’re such a sweetheart. Thank you for your loving words and support!<3

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  4. As has been pointed out, you are on the opposite side of the country as your mum. Even if you were there to help your brother, it would be difficult; no matter how much you love somebody, you cannot – cannot! – be on duty 24/7. As your mum’s health deteriorates, she will need more and more care, and she will be in a place where that care will be seamless. No calling around for a nurse, when a “babysitter” is no longer enough.

    Don’t let anybody try to send you on a guilt trip, either. My sister had ALS (Lou Gehrig’s) and her husband was tied to the house. Nobody wanted to stay with her while he ran to the store, but when he – and my sister – decided to put her into a nursing home, those same folks were the first ones to start sniping about how “heartless” it was. Lynn was well aware of her condition, and could see what it was doing to him, and the choice to go to a home was as much, if not more, hers as it was his.

    Hugs to you!

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  5. A very close friend of mine was given power of attorney for her mother, before her father died. Her mother is 85 years old, in remarkable good shape for someone her age, but a good deal of her good health is due to the diligence of my friend and one of her sisters. The time it takes, daily, to take care of her mother is a real strain on her. She will tell you that it’s all worth it if you ask her, and it is if only for her own peace of mind.

    She is a strong woman. Something tells me that you are too. It’s not what will finally happen that is important, but how you both make it through these times.

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  6. I am half in tears, half smiling as I read and ponder this piece.
    As part of the silver tsunami , I know this type of choice may be part of my future , I hope my kids surround me with the love that Lucie gives to her dear mom.

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    1. Time is fragile (as you well know, dear friend…) I hope/pray that I age as gracefully as my mom. She’s a little trooper and I pray this new chapter in her life brings her some relief and some happiness before she leaves us….breaks my heart that I’m so very, very far away….sending oodles of love, dear Ruth. I pray the summer has been gentle with you. Lucie ❤

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  7. I know its hard to think about, but I think it is better since you are not close to see what
    is actually happening everyday.
    Be best to have people around her !! I was blessed as we were able to have caregivers and keep my momma home till she passed at 100. But I still worried even then. Best for her to go where she is going! She might even like it better than you think:))
    Love you guys
    La Dolce Vita

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  8. i went through this exact thing with my feisty italian mom. i know of what you speak and it helped me to feel better to know that someone would be there to help her around the clock. as the social workers told me, she very quickly made it her home and felt comfortable there. i never believed it would happen, but it did. the people there fell in love with her and when she passed away on her 85th birthday there, they lined the halls to say goodbye. hugs to all of you.

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    1. Why do i strongly feel that you and I would be “besties”, if we lived nearby??? You soooo get me, dear Beth….maybe it’s our Italian mom’s, eh???? People at the home already “know her” via our Aunt Molly. Everyone LOVED Aunt Molly, so she already has a “fan club” by default…..I just always felt that she would pass in “her own bed with her blankets and smells and stuff”, ya know? Just hard to think of her in a strange bed with strange smells, etc. My cousin tried so hard to keep her where she was…just became physically impossible to maintain her there . I was back there for a brief time and came back to WA totally exhausted after this last hospital stay…I don’t know how my cousin has done it up until now. My brother and sis-in-law are currently there. Lots of hard work by all involved. Thx for your input, Beth, and support. I sincerely appreciate it. Lucie ❤

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  9. You are amazing and I applaud
    Your bravery. Thanks for letting
    All your readers how difficult
    It is to acknowledge your mom
    Or Dad is sliding into the
    “Dying of light” phase of life.
    They are slowly slipping away
    And we cannot prevent it
    Despite all our love and
    And care. I like to think that
    As their light dims, it is being
    Re lit and joins the lights of all
    Those who came before us in
    The energy of all creation.
    Love is a light which breaches
    All barriers and lives on.
    Love and light to you and all.

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