People Wanna Know if I Write Fiction

Now that I’m retired, people want to know what I do with all of my spare time. Many are pleasantly surprised that I don’t have a problem filling up my day with meaningful activities.

Between breaks with some heavy-duty storms that Northern CA was pounded with last week, I was bent over on my arthritic knees; looking head first, into a 4-foot hole, with my arse saluting my unsuspecting neighbors. I was trying to figure out why our back-yard sump pump wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do – sump water away from our home and into the streets.  I had difficulty assessing the situation because of all the standing water in the hole and decided to try using a portable pump to help me.

Un-hun.

I got my garden hoses attached to the pump and lowered it into the hole, when it started to rain.

Again, I was bent over with my larger – than – life buttocks shooting straight up into the air, when I suddenly felt water trickling down my hiney.

“No biggey,” I thought to myself. “My socks are totally wet and I need to change them anyways. Not a problem in changing a wet pair of undies, right?”

So, into the house I traipsed, grabbed a new pair of drawers, changed my underwear and socks, and headed for the loo before leaving to my exercise class. I opened the bathroom door, and Molly – the cat that I have the door closed for because she likes to piddle on bathroom rugs –  sashayed pass me.

“Cazzo (Ot-so!),” I said out loud, as I slid into the cat pee.

“I must have accidentally locked her in there when I left this morning for my walk,” I said to myself, while shaking my head in disgust.

“Shoot!”

All right, this was also no big deal. I have many pairs of socks. I changed into pair number 3 and out the door I headed for my morning A.P.E. class at the Senior Center.

Yep.

My Subaru decided that it did not want to start.

Dead battery.

O.K.

No big deal. I had a camper van that wasn’t used in a dog’s age and needed to be run. It was sitting under an ash tree for the past umpteen storms and unbeknownst to me had accumulated all kinds of goodies on the cowl of my van’s hood.

As I began to drive to class, it started misting, and I unwittingly turned on my wipers. Suddenly, my windshield – that was kissed ever so lightly by the morning’s mist – was now an impenetrable lens of mud and muck.

As I drove down Virginia Avenue, blind as a bat, I looked up to the heavens and shouted, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Ya wanna give me a break today?” As if on cue, the heavens promptly opened up and it began pouring – really pouring –  enough so that it cleaned the gunk off of my windshield.

Yep.

The Big Guy came through for me once again.

I got to the Center, pulled into the parking lot, made an abrupt stop and got slapped in the back of my neck with water that apparently had accumulated under the canvas of my pop-up roof.

At that point, I looked up to the skies, told God that he had a great sense of humor, but that he needed to find another muse for his merriment.

And People want to know if I write fiction?

No, People, this is my boring, retired life. Who needs fiction when you’re living life in my shoes?

Stay well, and I’ll catch ya next adventure.

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Lucie

I'm a retired special ed teacher, born in upstate NY, who spent most of my adult life in the SF/Bay Area and moved to the Olympic Peninsula of WA in June of 2017. At the encouragement of family and friends, who followed my silliness on my FB page, I started this blog a few years ago. I try to keep my topics as humorous as possible (because I believe "LIFE" is pretty serious these days), but will, on occasion write about more solemn subjects. I sincerely appreciate all who take the time and effort to read and make comments and am truly humbled when people actually "like" what I write. I do not participate in the "Wordpress awards" because I feel "awarded" when individuals actually read me and comment, but sincerely appreciate all of you who have considered me "award worthy" and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs, Lucie

21 thoughts on “People Wanna Know if I Write Fiction”

  2. Hi Lucie,
    True life stories are the bees knees mate, I realy believe that every single day of our lives we can find a story in that day. It may not always be funny, yet for me personally I feel sometimes we can be ever so sad and it might just be a memory, that takes you from sad to glad. Great true life story tellers find a way to bring the characters they meet, or a family member, their beloved other, maybe the kids or grandkids, endless opportunities to tell a rippa story among that lot. Life is just one big ol’ long story, it’s TRUE, it’s REAL, who needs fiction when everyday is a new day and rest assured there will be a story in there somwhere. Crikey!! I love livin’ life in Lucies shoes, you have taken all your followers, on a heck of a ride each week, keep ’em comin’ Lucie, NO!! is the answer to DO YOU WRITE FICTION.
    LIFE IN LUCIE’S SHOES IS TRUE AND REAL BLOODY SPECIAL I RECKON!!
    Real hugs and truly, I luvs ya Lucie
    From
    Annie in Australia 🌞 🌴 🌊 💜

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  3. I’m not sure you need a friendly reader, my friend. You do superbly without one. I really like the title and the great ending that tied back to it. And, of course, your humor could make even my cousin, Gloomy Norman, smile. You battle rain; I battle snow. Maybe Washington will be perfect.

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    1. You’re too kind, Kiddo. Thank you for boosting my deflated ego….And to think, I worried that I didn’t have something “to post” this past Tuesday?!!! I should know better, eh??! No sooner did I tell you that I had nothing to write about and viola…..The Man presents a story! (A story, I might add, that has a couple of parts to.) This post came quickly. My “serious one” that you looked at is “stalled”…I’ll leave it alone until “it comes to me”…..PS I finished the book. I think it’s good, but what do I know? I’ll start the Ove one next month….PPS The new movie, “Hidden Figures” is excellent. U may wanna check it out. 😉

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  7. Living the we do, The Squire and I don’t need fiction, either. Fortunately, I – like yourself – have the ability to turn almost any catastrophe into a skit from I Love Lucy. In fact, while it’s happening, I’ve found myself “writing” the story!

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