Lucie Runs Outta Luck!

I have major sleep issues.

For people that know me, that little fact is really nothing to write home about.

I haven’t slept in years.

Doing my Monday morning errands this week, though, I ran into some people who I think may have been a little sleep deprived themselves; either that or badly in need of a Monday morning attitude adjustment.

I thought a trip to the library that day would be a good plan of action in light of the fact that I just read an article in “Scientific America” that talked about how your brain has a built-in garbage disposal that gets rid of toxic proteins and that much of this “cleanup activity” takes place during sleep.

In light of the fact that I’m not sleeping too well these days, and probably have a lot of garbage floating around in my brain, I thought a library visit would be a healthy choice of action for me after my morning adaptive P.E. class.

Concerned about my next “garbage pickup date” and needing to challenge my brain as much as possible, I checked out one of Janet Evanovich’s summer reads and headed back to the parking garage to pick up my car and continue my errands for the day.

As I was walking to my car, humming one of my favorite songs (I kid you not!) – “If I Only Had a Brain” from “The Wizard of Oz”- I was unpleasantly greeted with the repeated beeping of someone’s car horn, when I noticed a gentleman in a Toyota sedan erratically backing into the front end of some lady’s Mercedes as she was driving down the lane.

Immediately realizing that the offending horn-tooter was the woman in the Mercedes, I saw that she was in the right of way and was laying on her horn because (I assumed) she didn’t want the front end of her car mangled.

The Toyota dude apparently saw it differently, because the next thing I heard him yell was a not-too-friendly, “F-yourself! And go around me!”

Uh-Hun.

The dude backs up into her (on a one way lane!) and HE swears at her.

OK.

I figured it was a good time for me to get the hell outta Dodge and go to the Target Dept. Store for errand number 2 of the day.

 

I get to Target and spend 15 minutes looking for a type of protein bar called “Kind”. They used to be healthy for you, so Target always had them in the aisle with the other healthy, protein bars. Guess they’re not so healthy for you anymore. According to one of the clerks, there’s some class action lawsuit against the company for not disclosing the fat calories in their almonds or some such nonsense, so they have to put them in another aisle.

Hm…

They had a sale on them – buy 4 boxes and get a $5.00 Target gift card. I figured the “Kind Co.” thought if they were going to secretively get you fat with their almonds, they’d best give you some incentive to do so.

Alrighty. I’m game. I like bargains just like the next guy. I’m not getting too much sleep these days and thought the added protein would help get rid of some of that extra brain garbage that I’ve been carrying around and help me sleep.

With the help of a store clerk, I found the Kind bars in the cookie aisle and finished my shopping. I headed for the check-out area, when I noticed unusually long lines at each of the registers. Accustomed to using the express line most of the time, but wanting my $5.00 gift card for my “Kind bars”, I opted to stand in one of the long lines, so I’d have access to a human cashier.

I quickly analyzed each customer’s basket of items and decided that aisle number 5 looked the fastest to me.

Yeah…

Well, Erma Bombeck here couldn’t have picked a slower lane if she wanted to! After all the other aisles got crammed with a bazillion customers, I discovered that aisle number 5 was being serviced by a handicap clerk with access to only one hand.

“OK. No big deal,” I said to myself.

“I’m a retired special ed teacher and I’m happy to give up a little time to accommodate his handicap.”

Uh-Hun.

Well, of course the customer in the front bought over 25 items and lucky me – two of the 25 items didn’t have price tags – so they had to call customer service.

“No big deal,” I said to myself. Ruth, our chair Yoga instructor, recently taught us some stress relieving exercises that you can do for situations just like this.

“I’ll do one of them,” I told myself.

Uh-Hun.

Well, apparently, before I could start my “de-stressing,” I was smiling too much at the little girl in the shopping cart in front of me because the next thing I heard was this little munchkin say,

“Mommy, this lady’s smiling at me. I don’t want her to smile at me.”

Evidently, this smiling, over-weight, gray-haired, old woman standing with 4 boxes of “Kind Bars” and 2 different types of cat food, must have seemed dangerous to this munchkin. So, not wanting to send this child into therapy sessions well into her old age, I decided to try to win her over and said,

“Hi Sweetheart. You helping Mommy shop today?”

The Mother, hearing my question; abruptly turned around, eye-balled my smilin’, clueless self from head to toe and snapped, “Haley, you don’t have to look at that lady or answer her if you don’t want to.”

Un-Hun.

I totally understand teaching kids “stranger danger”, and I can appreciate how stressful it is for parents these days keeping their kids safe, but ya think maybe we’ve gone a tad too far when we start treating everyone like they’re dangerous pedophiles and nut cases?

Geesch!

There used to be a time when people bonded while standing in unusually long lines and chatted about the weather or one of the headlines in the current Rag (magazines) on the check-out stands. Now-a-days, people go into a yoga pose or just impatiently breathe heavy and check out their Smart Phones. What’s happened to socializing with another human being?

I don’t know who I felt sorrier for that day – the Mother, who frowned at me with disapproval – or the little munchkin, who also scowled at me like I was something “bad”? Maybe I felt sorry for both of them.

And maybe, just maybe, I’m feeling sorry for society, as well.

After patiently waiting in line for 15 minutes, behind Snagglepuss and the kid-version of Grumpy Cat, I finally got rung up and then told that I had 3 of the 4 type of Kind bars that were eligible for the $5.00 gift card and that if I wanted the promotion, I had to go back and get the other kind or I was “outta luck”…

Cazzo!

By this point, I wasn’t smilin’ too much and was thinkin’ maybe I could understand Mr. Toyota Dude from the parking garage this morning.

Have a good one, People! And remember: we’re all carrying around a lot of garbage these days – some of us more so than others. Be kind to one another and I’ll catch ya the next time, looking at life from my shoes.

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Published by

Lucie

After much encouragement and prodding by family, friends and professionals, I (a former Special ed. teacher and consultant from Northern Ca.) decided to take my FACEBOOK postings on my silly life with my life partner and 2 wacky cats and share them with a broader audience. I've brought laughter and joy to a number of people now for quite a few months and sincerely hope that I can bring a chuckle or two to all who read my bi- weekly entries on my blog. (Now let's hope that I can muster enough competence to figure out how to use this site in a reasonably competent fashion, so that I still have fun writing and others can actually "find me"!!!!) I wish all who enter "Lucie's World" much joy and laughter and ask that if I've touch your life in any way and made you giggle or smile, that you "pay it forward" for the week and share a moment or two of laughter with someone that you care about....

14 thoughts on “Lucie Runs Outta Luck!”

  1. When I used to have an everything’s awful day, my mom would tell me that soon it would be bedtime and I could go to bed, go to sleep, and start over the next day. But that wouldn’t work for you, would it, because you’re not sleeping — my idea of hell. If I sleep poorly one night, I’m grumpy; if two nights, I think the world is ending; if three, Joel doesn’t let me interact with others. Thanks for an amusing read, Lucie, and I hope you are now sleeping.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a crapload of crap day!! Every now and then they come along, don’t they? I’m not sleeping well either, maybe the whole Universe isn’t sleeping, and we’re taking it out on each other?

    I was having a crummy day and I stopped to get a hot chocolate for myself as a treat. I was thrilled to find out the place could make it with almond milk. I was doing a little mini-clap. The barista thought it was wierd until I explained that having the type of milk I could drink was the first thing that had gone right all day. That’s what kind of day it was.

    Here’s to scratched together sleep, and the hope that people will keep their bad attitudes to themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes they do (come along!!) At this point in my life, though, I’ve learned to laugh and say, “Perfect! Just gave me another piece to write about!” 😉

      Sorry to hear that you’re among those of us that are sleep deprived. After a number of referrals, I’m off to a “sleep specialist” (whatever the heck that is!) I’m sure that will end up “another story”!

      I don’t find your “almond milk request” weird….that’s what we drink in our home all the time. Lots of folks do. Thanks for checking in. Hope you got a little snicker outta my piece and have a better week! Lucie 😉

      Like

    1. Yep! That’s what made me write about it. The whole day was a story waiting to tell…from the library visit to the shopping at Target. I realize the munchkin is just a wee one, but the Mom made me feel so dirty and when I got in my car and drove home, I thought about the “irony” of the whole day…. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ugh! What a lousy day! So sorry for you! Especially after that mom and kid–and the Kind bar thing! That would have tried my patience greatly. Glad you were able to keep a good attitude about it. You’re an inspiration! So, did you go back for the 4th kind of Kind? Or did you just say screw it and leave?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Actually, I looked so forlorn and disappointed that the clerk graciously did an over-ride on his cash register and gave me the $5.00 card! I felt kind of “dirty” at first with the Mom’s reaction, but then thought about the irony of having bought KIND bars and what my day was like and decided that it was actually a gift of sorts….made for a good story. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I would have been smiling at the little munchkin, just like you! Always act sociable in long lines!!! Maybe they were the exception.
    Don’t change, Jo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I assume your message is to MOI (Lucie) and not Joanne, yes???? No problem with changing, Ro…..I’m gonna “kill ‘um with kindness”!!! Lucie ❤ (And thanks for the read and commenting!)

      Like

  5. Sad commentary on where society is headed.
    I hope you got your $5.00 gift card!
    as Ellen says, be Kind to one another. (Or something like that!)

    Liked by 1 person

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