October 24th was a beautiful autumn day in Northern Ca. – perfect day for bike riding and bird watching at the Alviso Marina Slough.
A delightful day for opening duck season, too.
Did you know that local duck hunters love the Slough?
Yep.
The Princess and I recently learned this little fact.
While the Phil and Willie look-alikes, of the infamous A&E reality show, “Duck Dynasty”, were at the Slough vigilantly scouting for Mallards, the Princess and I were gaily riding bikes and observing sandpipers.
So, as Phil and Willie inconspicuously floated by us in their Hawaiian-skirted, camouflaged boat, the Princess and I gleefully (and naively) scouted for egrets, herons and various other shorebirds, in the surrounding wetlands and salt ponds; while casually peddling our bikes.
Everything was going along just ducky.
We then unexpectedly heard the “pop pop” of a 12 gauge shot gun ring out from the left side of us, and saw the Red-Head camo caps of the infamous Phil and Willie two-some, come popping out of their Hawaiian-skirted, floating duck blind; like two camouflaged jack-in-the-box clowns.
As their gun muzzles suddenly materialized from their Hawaiian-skirted floating duck blind, we immediately saw Donald, Daisy and the gang, fanatically scatter throughout the slough.
Aware of the fact that they overshot their prey, and evidently observant of the two fat, old, women bikers staring at them with mouths agape; Phil and Willie quickly sank behind the auspices of their duck blind, like the furry, buck-toothed little moles of the 70’s arcade game, Wack-A Mole.
About the same time that we saw our daffy duck hunters disappear into the confine of their camouflaged boat, I began to develop dancing, whirling butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
It then suddenly dawned on me – these Hawaiian-skirted boats that were around us, were actually duck blinds!
And the Princess and I, with our brown and blue-visored bike helmets, were two, over-sized female Mallards, soon-to-be (unwittingly), the main ingredients of Willie and Phil’s delectable duck soup!
Cazzo!
Suddenly, the Princess and I felt like two of the chain driven targets of Disneyland’s original shooting gallery, and auspiciously determined that we needed to high-tail it to safer ground.
We skedaddled to safety and decided to take a breather at one of the Slough’s man-made lookouts; when we heard a group of four, seasoned walkers, casually come shuffling in from behind us.
At this point, the Princess felt like she was headed for a permanent dirt nap and was attempting to control her shaking, wobbly knees and calm her frayed nerves, so I congenially greeted our unwitting guests and nervously asked,
“So, did you guys hear the gun shots while you were walking today?”
“Yes,” the one woman kindly and promptly responded.
“We did.”
“Kind of disarming to hear the sound of gun shots so close to you while you’re out in nature, isn’t it?” she benevolently queried, while looking over at the Princess and giving her an encouraging smile.
“Yeah,” I nervously giggled.
“Seeing the muzzles of their gun barrels aimed in our direction, kinda made us question if we were soon to be wearing toe tags?” I jokingly added.
“I can imagine,” she amenably answered, while nodding her head.
Finding our interchange amusing, but highly improbable, one of their male companions calmly interjected, “We saw the duck blind, as we were walking. I’m guessing they were using 12 gauge shot guns; and with that caliber of gun, you wouldn’t be able to shoot the distance to where the trail is.”
“I can assure you,” he competently continued, “there’s nothing to worry about, but I can understand how you’d be alarmed.”
Before I could even attempt a response to his pithy comment, the other female companion (whom we assumed was his wife), smiled and tauntingly replied,
“Geeze, Harold, ya think?!”
At this point, the Princess had successfully gained control over her wobbly knees, and was s l o w l y unthawing from her catatonic state; when she started one of her asthmatic, snort-laughs.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Princess’s snaughling – it’s a condition that arises when she laughs so hard that she snorts, and emits a cacophony of sounds that is not for the faint of heart or what you’d call, “newly acquired acquaintanceships”.
Trying to salvage any decorum of dignity, that we might have had left, I awkwardly looked at the foursome, flashed them a toothy, nervous grin, and congenially nodded my head back and forth; while conciliatorily shrugging my shoulders, as if to say, “She’s new to me, too. Just met her myself today on the trail.”
Go out and celebrate life today, People!
And remember: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s learning to dance in the rain.” Unknown author
Catch ya next adventure, looking at life from my shoes.
Such a good sketch. It had it all: drama (being shot at), humor (“like the furry, buck-toothed little moles of the 70’s arcade game, Wack-A Mole,”) chance encounters (the smug and pithy strangers), personal foibles (the snort laugh). I’m glad you and the Princess have each other. Sounds like a perfect pairing.
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Thanks, Janet! Yes, the Princess is “my Ethel” to the “I Love Lucy” twosome. We decided years ago that we were “made for each other” …we drive each other bonkers and we don’t know what we’d do without each other…..I shared your site with her….she, like me, likes your style of writing, too, and told me to let you know that you’re a funny lady. Thanks, again, for taking the time and energy to comment. I’m very passionate about wanting to publish someday and am hungry for input/criticism so that I can hone my skills. It’s my wishes to have a book published and dedicated it to my Mom…..Thanks for stopping by, Kiddo! Hugs! 🙂
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Please tell the Princess how happy I am to get to know her through your blog. Lucie, my writing was strengthened to the point where I felt confident about publishing my book when the editor of my local newspaper asked me to start writing columns for the paper, which he did because I sent him a Christmas memoir bit I’d written and asked if he’d be interested in publishing it. He gave me honest feedback, suggested changes, and corrected punctuation and capitalization errors that I then studied so I wouldn’t continue committing them. (For example, he would have told me that in this comment I’m drowning my reading in sentences that are too long!) Is there a local paper you could approach? Also, are you thinking of self publishing a book or pitching it to publishers?
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Thanks, Janet. “The Princess” is happy to bring a smile to your day! 🙂 PS I went on your site and left a response there. I looked for an email address, but was unable to find one. I hope it was ok to respond on your “contact page”…..
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You two are both… DAFFY. HA!!!!!!
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Yes we are!!! 🙂
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Glad you survived, Lucie, and gave us a good snaugh in the process!
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Of course, Mitch!!! 🙂 Our life is one laugh after another. 🙂
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Wow, that sounds scary. Glad you both are okay and you were able to weave the tale of trepidation into a humorous one!
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I know, hun???? It was scarey! I just kept telling myself that they wouldn’t allow hunters to be close enough to bikers and hikers that they could actually SHOOT one of us!! 🙂
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I laughed so hard migrating ducks were knocked out of the sky. Then the Texas game warden gave me a ticket because I had no duck-hunting license. I tried to argue that I didn’t shoot the ducks. He said you need a license to kill ducks whether it is with a gun, a sling shot, a bow and arrow, or a disturbingly staccato Mickey-laugh. So your post has taught me much… with great power comes great responsibility.
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“Snaughling”: what a wonderful word coinage! Ah, all’s well that end’s well, eh? Glad you didn’t end up in a duck soup. 🙂
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Yes, indeed! Scared the bejeebers outta us, but made for a “good story”….the other half of the story rests in our “trip back”…..we got totally LOST on our way back and had to use our cell phones to get back!!! 🙂 Oh well…. 🙂
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another close call for the two of you, and the snort is a good deterrent for most anything i would think.
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You would think, eh??? We should have tried it on Phil and Willie, instead of “our new friends”….. 🙂
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