Momma Benedetti Goes to the Hospital!

So, last week we get a call from my cousin, Angie, who lets us know that she’s not supposed to be telling us this, but Ma Benedetti’s in the hospital.

She’s not quite sure what’s ailing the little 86-year-old rompicoglioni (pain in the butt), but she’s not feeling her “feisty self” and the doctor thought it’d be best if she’d check-in to the local hospital to undergo some medical tests.

Uh-Hun.

So, my older brother, Anthony, “takes one for the team”, makes the long distance call to my Mom’s hospital room and connects with the vertically challenged Smurf, in her hospital room.

Yeah, I know, he’s a brave soul. (Either that or totally desensitized after years of Momma Benedetti’s truisms and motherly lies).

“How ya doin’?,” he gingerly asks, aware of the fact that he’s not supposed to know that she’s in the hospital.

“I’m great today,” she coyly replies. “How are you and Lucy (his wife) doing?” she continues.

“Oh swell,” he slowly answers.

Mindful that Ma is not going to be sharing too much of her medical issues with one of her off-springs, but sincerely concerned with her physical well-being and welfare, he bravely pushes on.

“So, Ma, what’s got ya feeling kinda sick these days?”

Cazzo,” she starts out. “So who’s the stoonod (idiot) that blabbed that I’m sick?”

“And just for the record,” she animatedly counters, “I’m not sick, got it?! So, don’t go telling your sisters and brother that I am, ok?”

“No, of course not, Mom,” he dutifully answers, totally aware of the fact that all of us know she’s in the hospital.

“Why would I do that? You’re in the hospital because you like the food and the ambiance. We all know how much you like the Jell-O and sleeping accommodations,” he continues teasing her and hoping that he gets her laughing and relaxed enough to spill the beans.

“Yeah,” she says, “the Jell-O is good, but the juice is nasty,” she continues.

“Your Grandfather’s old, home-made wine was sweeter tasting than this pee water they call cranberry juice,” she responds.

“How do you kids drink this sh-t?,” she inquires.

Madonna,” she continues. “This juice could put hair on a hair-less cat. It’s making me sick, just sipping it.”

“Well, Ma,” Anthony carefully interjects, “Maybe you should just ask for another kind of juice – one that isn’t so nasty for you, eh?”

Cazzo,” Ma sarcastically responds. “I’m so glad you went all those years to college, Anthony. My 86-year-old mind would have never thought of that on my own!”

Grazie a Dio per i miei figli (thank God for my kids),” she caustically continues. “I don’t know how I’d survive without you stoonods (idiots)!”

Uh-Hun.

“Ok,” my brother lovingly responds.

“I’ll let you get back to your Jell-O and nasty cranberry juice.”

“Call one of us, if you need us,” he continues, fully aware of the fact that she’ll die before she does that.

“Bye-bye,” she responds.

Ti amo (love you),” she quietly adds on and hangs up.

Yep.

Don’t always understand my Mom and her crazy ways, but of this I am 100 percent certain – she’d lay down her life for any one of her four children and loves us with all of her heart.

She frustrates me, drives me absolutely crazy, at times, and I wanna strangle her at other times, but I love her with all of my heart and pray that whatever time she has left on this earth, that she’s able to live it in her way, under her rules, and with her passion for life.

Have a blessed week, People, and remember – we can’t change anyone, but ourselves.

So unless you want to be totally frustrated, work on yourself, and change from the other guy will come soon enough.

Catch ya next adventure, looking at life from my shoes!

 

 

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Lucie

After much encouragement and prodding by family, friends and professionals, I (a former Special ed. teacher and consultant from Northern Ca., who recently moved to the Olympic Peninsula of WA.) decided to take my FACEBOOK postings on my silly life with my life partner and 2 wacky cats and share them with a broader audience. I sincerley hope that I can bring a chuckle or two to all who enter my world when you read my blog. (Now let's hope that I can muster enough competence to figure out how to use this site in a reasonably competent fashion, so that I still have fun writing and others can actually "find me"!!!!) I wish all who enter "Lucie's World" much joy and laughter and ask that if I've touch your life in any way and made you giggle or smile, that you "pay it forward" for the week and share a moment or two of laughter with someone that you care about....

16 thoughts on “Momma Benedetti Goes to the Hospital!”

  1. Good to spend time with you again Lucie. I absolutely loved your prayer and hope for your mother in the time she has left “that she’s able to live it in her way, under her rules, and with her passion for life.” I hope so too, Lucie, and the same for mothers everywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the “visit “, Janet. I’m always so truly touched and honored when you take the time to “stop by” for my brand of silliness. I, too, wish for “everyone” that they live it THEIR WAY, under THEIR RULES, with THEIR PASSION for life. Now if we could get a “right to die” law passed out here, I’d be a happy camper!!! Tootles! Lucie ❤

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    1. You’re so sweet! She’s quite the “character”, but definitely a woman that you either love or don’t! (Most people love her…it’s hard to dislike someone when they’re feeding you a home-made meatball sandwich on hard-crusted Italian bread smothered in mozzarella cheese!) 🙂 Some people just don’t understand “that kind of love”, though, and it can seem “off-putting and harsh”, at times…Oh well, what can I say? She’s definitely true to herself! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! She’s quite “the character”, but very loved by family, friends, and the community. You either like her or don’t! (Most people like her. She makes a great meatball sandwich and feeds you while she’s “giving you grief”! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hm…did I accidently not see this comment????Gosh, sorry ’bout that!! And thank you, Laura. And yes, you are so right. When’s she’s at a “100%”, she’s quite the little character! Thanks for the well-wishes, Sweetie.

      Liked by 1 person

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