Lucie attends Miss Betsy’s Second (and last) Yoga Class!

All righty, People!

I attended my second session of Miss Betsy’s Gentle Yoga Class for Seniors this morning and Miss B. tells us that we need to put our right foot up behind our back, twist our body around to the left while gently flexing our muscles and put our hands in front of us in a prayer formation, pointing upward to the ceiling while simultaneously reminding us to take a deep cleansing breath as we gently push the air from our lungs and to remember:

“We are one with our bodies and the universe. And the floor (that my half inch mat is on) is Mother Earth.”

“Just listen to the music,” she gently continues, “and become one with your Earth Mother.”

Un hun,” I’m saying under my breath while  trying to gently untangle my size 9 foot from my butt,

Mother’sfeeling a tad hard on my delicate, ample-sized hinny right now, and my half inch yogi pad is as useless as tits on a bull.”

But I’m game. Let me go with this.

 As I’m looking around the room at everyone attentively and lithely executing this “pretzel position,” I’m thinking,

“Oh Sweet Jesus! I don’t know if Mother Earth and I are going be bonding today, but I could be wrong.”

I think Miss Betsy’s been partaking a little too much of the ole’ Maui-wowie before class, but what do I know? She’s certainly quite supple in her ability to bend her body in all sorts of positions and she doesn’t seem overly concerned with the fact that I’m knotted up into a human pretzel!

I attentively continue listening to Miss Betsy and am really trying to breathe deeply, but every time I went to breathe in, I started coughing uncontrollably from my neighbor’s overwhelming perfume fragrance; when Miss Eau-DE-Lovely herself casually looks over at me and innocently says,

“Dear, that cough of yours doesn’t sound too good. Are you feeling o.k.?”

Now I’m thinking that I’m in another one of those “lose/lose scenarios” that I seem to be in a lot lately, where I can’t be totally honest with this woman, although I’d love to educate her on the fine art of taking a morning shower with simple soap and water (minus the floral arrangement!), but I don’t want to offend one of Miss Betsy’s regulars, don’t cha know; so I look at her (with teary eyes and all) and say (in between bouts of uncontrollable coughing!),

“I must be having an allergic reaction to someone’s perfume that they’re wearing. I’m a light weight with most perfumes and scents.”

Without missing a “yogi beat”, she adroitly goes into Miss Betsy’s “prayer formation stance”, impassively looks over at me and unwittingly says,

“I know! Isn’t it terrible how thoughtless people can be when they come to exercise class?”

“Yep,” I’m thinking to myself, “Me thinks Miss Betsy’s Yoga Class for Seniors, session two, is now over and is more than likely my LAST session!”

I had to leave before “cooling down,” so I could continue to breathe, and now here I sit, inappropriately cooling down; muscles in spasms, a throbbing head-ache and not exactly sure whether my dog’s still walkin’ or standin’ in an upward position?

(But frankly, I don’t care!)

Yes siree Bob! I’m thinkin’ I’d best be working on a another way to get rid of my Buddha belly, ‘cuz I could be wrong, but I don’t think Miss Betsy’s Yoga class is too healthy for me!

Namaste, Peoples!!!

Now go out and do something totally silly for yourself today! Who knows? Your silliness just may unwittingly bring a smile to someone’s otherwise heavy heart….

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Lucie

After much encouragement and prodding by family, friends and professionals, I (a former Special ed. teacher and consultant from Northern Ca.) decided to take my FACEBOOK postings on my silly life with my life partner and 2 wacky cats and share them with a broader audience. I've brought laughter and joy to a number of people now for quite a few months and sincerely hope that I can bring a chuckle or two to all who read my bi- weekly entries on my blog. (Now let's hope that I can muster enough competence to figure out how to use this site in a reasonably competent fashion, so that I still have fun writing and others can actually "find me"!!!!) I wish all who enter "Lucie's World" much joy and laughter and ask that if I've touch your life in any way and made you giggle or smile, that you "pay it forward" for the week and share a moment or two of laughter with someone that you care about....

5 thoughts on “Lucie attends Miss Betsy’s Second (and last) Yoga Class!”

  1. You made me laugh… The only exercise I get any more is when the dog takes me for a fast drag around the park. I mean, she’s a bundle of enthusiasm who won’t settle for less than a full gallop, and my arthritic-diabetic old flabby-body can’t manage much more than to bounce along the sidewalk after her. My major calorie-burn comes from healing scrapes and bruises.

    Like

  2. I’ve never done yoga, but I’ve tried pilates and had the same type of experience! I’m supposed to do what and how and huh?! Engage my core . . . inhale and exhale at specific times . . . keep my neck loose . . . it never makes sense to me. Give me dumbbells and running shoes and I’m good. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep! Couldn’t agree with you more!!! Give me a beat up pair of walking shoes and I’m good to go! Right about the time she was telling me to breathe deeply and start “walking my dog” (or some such nonsense!), I was thinking, “I could be wrong, but I don’t think I’m cut out for yoga…. gonna hafta find another way for me to loose this menopausal midriff and still breathe at the same time!!” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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