Lucie and the Dental Drool

OK, I go to the Dentist this morning, so he can finish up my “dental work.”

 

And I tell him, “I’m in the midst of a major thyroiditis flare-up, so just be aware.”

 

“OK,” says he and administers enough pain medication to put down a large COW!

 

(How do I know this, you want to know?! Well, it’s been 4 hours and I’m still having difficulty breathing through my right nostril and have no idea where my lips are — or for that matter, where my tongue is in relationship to the roof of my mouth!)

 

Under normal circumstances, this “extra numbness” wouldn’t really be too bothersome because I’d rather have the “extra pain relief,” than actual “PAIN.”

 

But you see, I had to do a million and one errands today, because I have “Curly” of “The 3 Stooges Plumbing Co.” coming over tomorrow, and I don’t have time to do errands any other day this week!

 

So, I take me and my numb lips on over to our local Costco and as I’m pushin’ my cart around, I’m thinkin’ to myself:

 

“Ya know, God has a way of taking care of you. He probably didn’t want you to be shopping tomorrow, which is the day before a major holiday. This is good. Yes, this has total potential for being a good day. Just embrace it and get into a better frame of mind, OK?”

 

“Yep!”

 

That’s what I’m telling myself as I circle the refrigeration section of the store for the fourth time!

 

By this point, I’m developing freezer burn on my thighs from passing the dairy section so many times and I’m thinkin’:

 

“This is ridiculous! Where in Sam Hill are the hotdogs?”

 

“Ah, be still my little heart. Me thinks I spot a helpful Costco employee over in the detergent aisle!”

 

I walk over and ask Mr. Costco himself. Surely he’ll know. He looks to be a bright young man.

 

“Young man, could you please tell me where I’d find the hotdogs?”, I query.

 

He slowly stops what he’s doing, lowers his head, eyes me from head to toe over the rims of his glasses and smugly informs me,

 

“Ma’am, you might wanna try the refrigeration aisle for hotdogs. This is the detergent aisle.”

 

OMG!

 

All I could think of at the time is the comedienne Jeanne Robertson’s comment:

 

“Have you ever wanted to take a young person’s head, put it between your hands, look them square in the face and YELL: Are you in there?! Seriously, Are you in there?!!”

 

(For those of you that have seen her on YOU TUBE, you’ll remember the line. For those of you who haven’t heard of her, You don’t know what you’re missing! Look her up!)

 

To make a short story even longer, I eventually find the hotdogs (And no, People, I don’t usually eat hotdogs, but it was the 4th of July, don’t ‘cha know) and I’m driving outta the parking lot thinking to myself:

 

“What the shit?! Do I look like I’m learning-impaired?!”

 

“My God! I’m old, but not dead yet!”

 

I then catch a look at myself in the rear view mirror and notice what I think is a perspiration stain on the front of my shirt.

 

And then it slowly dawns on me:

 

Oh…My…God! That’s DROOL!!

 

DROOL! (a.k.a dental goop from the caverns of my mouth!! Yuck!)

 

The kid probably took one look at me and thought I was a bonafide member of our local “Over the Hill Retirement Community.

 

Lord! Lord! Lord! How I miss my mind!

 

People, don’t be drooling on yourself! (at least not in public!)

 

I’ll catch ya next week for another adventure living “Life from MY Shoes”!

 

 

 

 

 

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Published by

Lucie

After much encouragement and prodding by family, friends and professionals, I (a former Special ed. teacher and consultant from Northern Ca.) decided to take my FACEBOOK postings on my silly life with my life partner and 2 wacky cats and share them with a broader audience. I've brought laughter and joy to a number of people now for quite a few months and sincerely hope that I can bring a chuckle or two to all who read my bi- weekly entries on my blog. (Now let's hope that I can muster enough competence to figure out how to use this site in a reasonably competent fashion, so that I still have fun writing and others can actually "find me"!!!!) I wish all who enter "Lucie's World" much joy and laughter and ask that if I've touch your life in any way and made you giggle or smile, that you "pay it forward" for the week and share a moment or two of laughter with someone that you care about....

17 thoughts on “Lucie and the Dental Drool”

  1. Baàhahahahahahahahahahahaah!!!!!!!
    I laughed out loud the whole way, my neighbour (in cognito’ Joe Cocker, Roy Orbison, The King himself’ Elvis ) can see me from his kitchen window and because I have the slide door open ( it is a scorcher here today).
    Well he can hear me too, he is laughing at me laughing!!
    Geez this is funny as mate, I can see it happening with me own eyes it’s just so real and hilarious.
    Great story, when ya neighbor catches a person laughing so loud and he has to laugh too, IT’S A REAL CORKER OF A STORY!!!
    Loads of love headed your way
    FROM
    Annie in Australia 🌞 🌴 🌊 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I’m glad I’ve got YOU and your neighbor laughing, little buddy!!! You know how I luvs to make you laugh!!! Hang in there, buddy….hang in there…..”Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming……..” ❤

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    1. Oh gosh…I take it you’re an employee????We were just there again on Sunday. Was a madhouse; total madhouse!!!! Thanks for visiting my site….Have a lovely Christmas!!!

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    1. You’re so kind, Linda. I’m truly honored and humbled and unfortunately so sick these last few days that I’m not quite sure “what the rules are” for this award after I read them…maybe when I’m feeling a tad better and can “understand what I’m reading”, I may be able to graciously accept…right now I just published my post and am headed to bed for some badly needed sleep…Thank you sincerely…..

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      1. Ok, I’m feeling better, thank you, and had a chance to look into this “award” that you nominated me for. First of all, what an honor! I truly am humbled when anyone “likes my writing”, let alone wants to acknowledge it with “an award”, so thank you soooo much! HOWEVER, as one who finds this whole blogging thing rather “cumbersome at times”, the “award” seems to come with requirements of me that I really don’t choose to participant in. So, even though, I am truly, truly honored (and would consider YOU one of my fellow bloggers that I would bestow it upon), I do not choose to particiapte in such an “award honor” at this time. And thank you, once again, for the honor, Linda, you’re such a sweetheart of a person……

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  2. Gad, thanks for this! I have a dental appt 12-3. I am so bad, they give me nitrous oxide to clean my teeth! I will now remember the droolocity factor for sure!
    Me

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    1. Hey Cath! Good luck, Buddy with the “droolocity factor”!! (So did this version “read better” than my FB one in July?? Or don’t you remember it?? No biggy if you don’t remember…Just wondering…) Lucie 🙂 PS When r u starting “your blog”?? Your life’s too funny not to share it with others!!! 🙂

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      1. I just like sharing it with you….! I really got a laugh from this one! But they are all very interesting and funny to moi”

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  3. You’re a funny lady, Lucie! I especially like the part about the Three Stooges Plumbing Co. – I remember that episode fondly. I like that you admit to drooling too. With the changing of the weather from 20 degrees last week to 65 degrees yesterday, I found my nose dripping like a faucet even though I took my daily Allegra. Happy Turkey Day to you!

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    1. Thanks, Erica! I’m noticing that alot of the people that find me “funny” are East-Coasters…I’m wondering if my blog’s type of humor is limited to a certain “part of the country”??? Anyway, glad you liked it. I’ve gotta get my posting on my “plumbing issues” published one of these weeks, too. Lately, living life for the Princess and I is just “one BIG BLOG” after another!!!! 🙂

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